After much soul searching and meditation my Viejito and I are finally facing the same direction.
He loves me, I love him, and we are going to do what it takes to be together.
I don't know what this will mean in practice. Does he want us to live together? Do I want that? When and how will he tell Jan and Blake about us? How will they react and what will we go through to get to the other side of this? All big scary things to consider but I still can't help but feel so happy. We've tried so long and so hard to deny what we have between us, surely if we invest that same energy into being together instead of being appart we can work though anything.
My family too are worried. It's hard to support a daughter that tells you she is in love with someone elses husband and you're planning to live happily ever after. My family love me and want to support me, they just find it hard to understand and trust that I have my good reasons for this choice.
Time will tell if it was worth it. For now I have to trust my instincts.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Last Days in Chile
I'm heading home in a few days and I'm so excited! It's well and truely time to go home.
At the same time I am a little sad to be leaving. Not because of this place as such, but the family I'll be leaving behind. My Gran is turning 80 next April and I had entertained the idea of being here for that. It's a big mile stone but more importantly, how many other birthdays will there be for us to share with her? No one likes to think of these things but you can't denie that there will be at least less than 30 more birthdays, maybe less than another 20, possibely less than 10.
I will miss Dalia and the boys, Vincente and Alvaro. They have many challanges ahead. It can't be easy being a single mother of two teenageboys in such a chauvanistic country as this. I wish they were closer, I wish they could be there for our family dos in Australia. Dalia was the other sister, the sister that got left behind when we went to Australia. She should have come with us.
Tia Anna too will be sorely missed. She is so much like dad in so many ways. She's been great to get to know, I'm proud to have her as my aunt.
I'm going to miss Tono, Tia Juanita, Marco, Sarita. They are all gold.
Will not miss Daniela. She's my cousin and I love her but she is an irritating little shit. Possibly the worst mannered, most egocentric brat I've ever known. Both arrogant and a lier, I can only hope she does ok for herself because her attitude thus far in life has won her few friends - if she can't look after herself, I can't imagine anyone else wanting to.
At the same time I am a little sad to be leaving. Not because of this place as such, but the family I'll be leaving behind. My Gran is turning 80 next April and I had entertained the idea of being here for that. It's a big mile stone but more importantly, how many other birthdays will there be for us to share with her? No one likes to think of these things but you can't denie that there will be at least less than 30 more birthdays, maybe less than another 20, possibely less than 10.
I will miss Dalia and the boys, Vincente and Alvaro. They have many challanges ahead. It can't be easy being a single mother of two teenageboys in such a chauvanistic country as this. I wish they were closer, I wish they could be there for our family dos in Australia. Dalia was the other sister, the sister that got left behind when we went to Australia. She should have come with us.
Tia Anna too will be sorely missed. She is so much like dad in so many ways. She's been great to get to know, I'm proud to have her as my aunt.
I'm going to miss Tono, Tia Juanita, Marco, Sarita. They are all gold.
Will not miss Daniela. She's my cousin and I love her but she is an irritating little shit. Possibly the worst mannered, most egocentric brat I've ever known. Both arrogant and a lier, I can only hope she does ok for herself because her attitude thus far in life has won her few friends - if she can't look after herself, I can't imagine anyone else wanting to.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Lanes and other Suggestions
I have to share a little of what it's like on the roads here. It's a joy ride every time you get out there on the roads, a mad game of Who Dares Wins.
Lanes was a hard one to get used to. Just because there are three lanes marked on a road, that doesn't mean you will be driving three a breast. Rather the lines are there more as a guide to show you how the road winds and gives a suggestion of how many cars might fit across. Sometimes only 2 fit, sometimes there will be 2 on either side of you, but you can all just work that out as you drive along.
Any kind of disruption up ahead is signaled with "Danger X meters ahead". This could be road work, a fallen tree, a dodgy intersection, cows on the road... it's all a giant lucky dip! My favourite feature of this sign is that "Danger 50 meters ahead" seams to be acceptable to place ON THE DANGER. So if you're not paying attention, sometimes you think the sign is on the side of the dark, unlit road and there will be something ahead when really your about to drive INTO the sign and the hole it's covering!
The SLOW signs painted on the road are another peice of lovely randomness. Sometimes they are there because there's a speed bump ahead, sometimes it's just to scare you. But unless you know the roads well you better not risk it - some speed bumps are so bad they scrape the underside of the scoot when you WALK over them. Hit them at speed... not a good look.
Roundabouts are not for the faint hearted. Go anti-clockwise. That's the only rule. I recommend going slowly so you can dodge the lunatic pulling out in front of you and maybe avoid the nutter who's about to collect your tail if you don't move it now.
As I'm preparing to leave, there are more and more people asking me what I liked and didn't like about this place. It's not really fair to ask this as LIKE and DISLIKE are not really descriptions that fit this place. There are things that impact you, things you remember. The roads are one of these things.
Lanes was a hard one to get used to. Just because there are three lanes marked on a road, that doesn't mean you will be driving three a breast. Rather the lines are there more as a guide to show you how the road winds and gives a suggestion of how many cars might fit across. Sometimes only 2 fit, sometimes there will be 2 on either side of you, but you can all just work that out as you drive along.
Any kind of disruption up ahead is signaled with "Danger X meters ahead". This could be road work, a fallen tree, a dodgy intersection, cows on the road... it's all a giant lucky dip! My favourite feature of this sign is that "Danger 50 meters ahead" seams to be acceptable to place ON THE DANGER. So if you're not paying attention, sometimes you think the sign is on the side of the dark, unlit road and there will be something ahead when really your about to drive INTO the sign and the hole it's covering!
The SLOW signs painted on the road are another peice of lovely randomness. Sometimes they are there because there's a speed bump ahead, sometimes it's just to scare you. But unless you know the roads well you better not risk it - some speed bumps are so bad they scrape the underside of the scoot when you WALK over them. Hit them at speed... not a good look.
Roundabouts are not for the faint hearted. Go anti-clockwise. That's the only rule. I recommend going slowly so you can dodge the lunatic pulling out in front of you and maybe avoid the nutter who's about to collect your tail if you don't move it now.
As I'm preparing to leave, there are more and more people asking me what I liked and didn't like about this place. It's not really fair to ask this as LIKE and DISLIKE are not really descriptions that fit this place. There are things that impact you, things you remember. The roads are one of these things.
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