Thursday 18 May 2006
Eleven days ago some heartless, mindless bastard stole my beautiful baby scooty. Her name was Juanita and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever had the privilege to own. She was a chrome and black study in smooth, sexy style. With a big arse and a flashy front she was exactly what I would like to be if I was a scooter.
She was insured, so the tangible, dollar value loss will not be huge, but I loved this scoot. From the day I picked her up that Monday 1st November 2004, to that awful Sunday 7th May 2006 when I realized she was gone, we were together almost every day. We traveled to Woollongong, Canberra, Jambaroo, Dubbo, South West Rocks and everywhere in between. She made friends with strangers everywhere we went, and I met some amazing people through her.
I need new wheels and with the insurance money I'll get some in no time at all. But I doubt anything will come close to my first scooter love. I can't get a new Aprilia Mojito 150cc because they don't make them anymore but even if they did, it just wouldn't be the same. I'll get something else, and I'll love it for different reasons but nothing will ever replace my Juanita.
I miss her so much.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
He Didn't Just Make Me Feel It Was OK To Be Me, He Made Me Feel It Was Good To Be Me...
Wednesday 3rd May 2006, 8:37am
As I thrash about desperately seeking something to hold on to that will keep me from slipping into this vacuum of loss, I had forgotten some of the good things that came before the pain.
I was in a bad place. My self esteem was at record lows. My head was so ungrounded I didn't know where to begin getting strong again. I was so unhappy. Then I met him and I felt good. Before we kissed, before he wrapped his arms around me, we just met and I felt good again by simply being in the same room as him.
Today I'm still angry, and I still hurt, and I still long to feel the magic that he weaves on my body. But I don't want to forget how good it can be to just have him in my life. Once the anger and pain and longing have gone, I want to still have my sweet, funny friend to count on.
How I wish it could have been different. How I wish we could have been happy together till our time was done. Not this premature abortion of a happiness so new. It feels monstrous to destroy something so beautiful before it has had time to even really exist. But the same strength he renewed in me is the strength that now tells me I can't settle for second best. How pathetically ironic.
As I thrash about desperately seeking something to hold on to that will keep me from slipping into this vacuum of loss, I had forgotten some of the good things that came before the pain.
I was in a bad place. My self esteem was at record lows. My head was so ungrounded I didn't know where to begin getting strong again. I was so unhappy. Then I met him and I felt good. Before we kissed, before he wrapped his arms around me, we just met and I felt good again by simply being in the same room as him.
Today I'm still angry, and I still hurt, and I still long to feel the magic that he weaves on my body. But I don't want to forget how good it can be to just have him in my life. Once the anger and pain and longing have gone, I want to still have my sweet, funny friend to count on.
How I wish it could have been different. How I wish we could have been happy together till our time was done. Not this premature abortion of a happiness so new. It feels monstrous to destroy something so beautiful before it has had time to even really exist. But the same strength he renewed in me is the strength that now tells me I can't settle for second best. How pathetically ironic.
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