Some mornings are better than others

So tour guiding can be a great job. You're out and about all day, your clients are in happy holiday mode, there's no office politics, you get free lunches (no, really) - all in all it's pretty hard to complain. Every now and then though, you get one of those days. One of those days that you just have to take a deep breath over and repeat to your self, "this too will pass". Thankfully it's not usually about the day, just the pick ups in the morning.

I had two of those days last weekend. Let me tell you about one of them.

Saturday's manifest looked like it was going to be an easy run. Three pick ups and the first one wasn't till 7:50am - sweet, sleep in! But as I'm getting my gear together the night before I get a message saying there is one more to get at from the Grace hotel. Easy. Still get a sleep in.

Saturday morning begins with a really bad choice in ring tone. I stuffed up the music on my phone recently and it changed the song I had set to wake me. Starting the day with "Somewhere over the Rainbow" always makes the day just a little bit sunnier. But no, today my day starts with Duffy chanting "Yeah Yeah Yeah" in an all too chirpy, loud, repetitive voice, telling me about some dude who has her begging him for mercy. Oh god, that so has to be snoozed into silence.

Apparently I did that one too many times because all of a sudden my eyes catch the reflection of the sun on my watch and I realise I need to be out the door in 7minutes and I still smell like "business time" from the night before and I have no idea where my work shirt is. Thank god for make up removing wipes (they tingle a little down there but smell great) and for years of wearing black clothing which has accustomed my eyes to finding the right black t shirt in an ocean of black clothes. I get to the depot on time.

Actually I get to the depot early but that's fine, I'm just going to sing my little song, put on some lippy and see what the city has in store. Well I guess I may have been a little to into my song because right about where I hit the chorus I see this little boy waving at me as I drive past. I thought, "well isn't that sweet" and waved back just in time to remember, my first pick up had a little boy and it was on this street just a little further.... or actually, no, in fact, that was my little boy and his mummy and daddy standing with him wondering why I didn't stop. Shit. Time to go round the block and get them. But Sydney is not designed to go back. Like the kangaroo and the emu, Sydney streets can only go forwards - onwards and upwards! So 15 minutes later I've gone back the 10 meters I had to reverse to pick up the first passengers. A lovely coupe who I've been emailing with who are travelling with their 2 year old and 8 month old from Sweden via Singapore and whom I've told repeatedly that although we don't charge for babies on the tours, we also don't have room for prams. They have a MASSIVE Jeep $3000+ pram with them and the first thing they say as I open the doors is, "We have a pram!". No shit.

I could have played hard ball. I could have smiled sweetly and through gritted teeth told them it was me they had been emailing so don't play ignorant and take the bloody Jeep back up to the hotel room, but that preppy little Duffy was still begging me for mercy in my head and I was in a good mood so I though, fuck it, there's only 18 passengers on a 20 seater bus - hop on in with your massive overpriced baby accessory. Big mistake.

Unknowing that the day was about to turn to shit I happily cruise on over to the next pick up. Client's not there, check the other entrance. Client still not there but now there are cops behind me and nowhere legal to park so go around the block to the first entrance. Jump out, tell the punters to sit tight and I head on over to the concierge desk. There's no answer in his room, no sign of him in the lobby or around the hotel but he booked last night so he surely couldn't have changed his mind so soon? Running a little late now so tell the boss the bad news and head off to pick up number 3.

The usual traffic shitfight to get into Circular Quay but I'm only 3 minutes late as I pull up to the stop. A girl and a guy greet me, but when I ask if the other 12 member of the party are running late they tell me the others are just getting their brekky at Maccas. NO! No no no, no freaking way am I going to have the sweet smell of greasy hash browns and bacon and egg muffins wafting up at me for the next 2 and a half hours as I try desperately to stick to my diet of sultanas and dried chick peas! They are unimpressed. So am I, and I have the microphone so I win. Get over it.

I'm about to put on my happy face and start the mornings commentary when the boss rings. Have we found our lost friend from this morning? No, but we have found 2 more passengers that booked last night and the call centre didn't tell us about. Go get 'em!

I don't know the hotel but I know the street, so we purposefully trawl down the street until two smiling little faces tell me I found them. Get in!

Ok, now we're ready to go, but wait, that would be the boss calling again. We found our little friend from this morning standing on the corner 5 blocks from his hotel wondering where the hell his tour is. And of course, it's 5 blocks down the other end of town and from where I am that means about 12 blocks in one direction then double back to be able to get him. I'm now 10 min late, and still not close to leaving the city.

I opt for a short cut that is longer in distance but should cut out some long traffic lights but have only just committed to the route before I remember the construction happening on that road. Too late to do anything about it now so just grit your teeth and bear it. I finally find him, he's pissed off at being up early just to stand on a lonely street corner and then watch as we drive past his hotel again.

I'm now 40 minutes late getting out of the city and have 20 passengers, a baby and a pram on a tour that is not supposed to have more than 19 passengers and space for wine. Not a great start. Although I was truly grateful when I spoke to the boss later that day and was told she thought it best not to even tell me about the call she got 5 minutes later from ANOTHER passenger that had booked last night and we weren't told about.