Tuesday, November 18, 2008

And I Love Him

The only way I can deal with what my man and I are going through right now is to expect the worst. To hold hopes that all will be well and then have them crushed would be more than I could bear. So the distress that the uncertainty I've been living with has brought has been coupled with sorrow for a lover I expect to loose.

When you're feeling sad - really really sad - sometimes it's easy to loose sight of everything other than the sadness. You can get lost in a mist of whirling tears that leave you disoriented and blind to the other things that are important. Important things like the fact that at the end of the day, what you really really want is for the person you love to be happy.

Yes, I want the person I love to be happy with me, but that's secondary to the fact that I just want him to be happy. And maybe that means that I won't get what I want. Maybe that means I'll get hurt. And if that happens I will be very sad. But I was reminded this week that amidst the pain and sadness of loosing someone (or even just living with the very real possibility of loosing them soon) it's important to remember that some good will come of this.

And I will always love him.

2 comments:

Chalky Scoot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chalky Scoot said...

And I have no choice but to love you always and forever.